Archive Page 2

Surreal

Hey guys! Sorry I haven’t been around at all the past week—I’ve been so busy living and having fun! I can safely say that this past week has been the absolute best week of my college career. It’s amazing what no classes and pure relaxation and fun will do to you! The week started off with the amazing third eye blind concert, followed by a fun trip to visit Aliza in New Hampshire, a fancy night out with Senior Gala, amazing times hanging out with my friends, and graduation. It’s so surreal that it’s all over now, I’m sort of freaking out about it! I’m having so many mixed emotions that I can’t really deal with it.

Here’s me and my family before dinner:

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And with my best friend Aliza and her family after a fancy-schmancy dinner out in Boston:

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And graduation. After 4 years of anxiety, tears, struggles, triumphs, laughter and smiles I made it: Magna Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Arts in Economics and a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations. That is definitely an accomplishment to be proud of!

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My “little sister” from my sorority even came up to watch me graduate!

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I just got home from an 11 hour drive (which I may have slept pretty much 8 hours of! My exhaustion is finally catching up with me because I’m still ready for bed!) and I’m really having a hard time dealing with all my emotions. I’m filled with pride, relief, anxiety, and regret. I don’t know how to handle everything and I’m pretty much just struggling to keep it together and not totally break down. You guys have all been there this year so you’ve seen it all. I’ve finally, finally found my place at school and now it’s over. I’ve made such amazing friendships this past semester, and even more in the past few weeks, and I’m devastated to have to leave them. Never before have I been sad about going home, but now all I want is to go back to school and be with my friends there. While I have a lot of friends that will be in Pittsburgh this summer and next year, they aren’t the people I want to be with anymore. I’ve been texting, calling, and video-chatting my college friends nonstop and I would give anything to have just a little more time with them. I am so full of regret that I didn’t develop these close ties sooner because my time in college would have been so much different. 

While sometimes I can be quite eloquent, I know that this post is anything but that. It’s disjointed and probably a little incoherent (which may also be the result of the 2 gin and tonics I’ve needed in order to relax tonight…) but I guess that is an accurate representation of how I feel right now. I just don’t know what’s going on or what I want or how I feel. I’m confused and overwhelmed, and a little lost. For so long my life was on a set path: high school leads to college, one semester flows into another, followed by summer and then a return for another year. But now what? I have a few months off and then I start my job at the end of July. But then what? I work. And work. And work? There isn’t a culmination point, there is no end to work towards. I am such a goal oriented person and it is so scary for me to not have a specific thing to look forward to. I feel a little lost, with no direction, and it’s scary. 

It really didn’t hit me until today that I’m actually done with college. I’m done with such a big chapter of my life: my full-time education, that I don’t know how to act. I honestly can’t grasp the fact that I’m not going back to Boston in a few months. I’m here, permanently. While I am moving forward by starting a new career and starting the next phase of my life, I feel stuck. I feel like the past 4 years were for nothing; I’m back in the same place I started. I want to be back at school, I want to be back with my friends there, I don’t need or even really want to be home right now. I’ve never, ever, felt this way before–usually I am counting down the seconds until I can get home and am always so incredibly happy when I’m here but for some reason now it’s the opposite. I just don’t know how to deal with it!  I’m not the same person I was before and I’m afraid that being back in the same place, doing the same things, will bring back all the same struggles that I’ve dealt with and overcome this past semester. I’m sort of freaking out. Hmmmmm.

I guess I’ll go to bed and hopefully wake up a little more at ease. I know that I’ll stay in touch with my friends from school, but it’s just not the same. I feel like I took for granted the time that I had with them and now I’m really regretting that I didn’t appreciate and cherish it more. I know that it’s futile to look back at it like that and I should be happy that I am able to finally look back at school in a positive way, so I guess that’s what I’m going to try to do!

I promise I’ll be back soon, I have nothing else to do besides unpack so I won’t go MIA on you guys again!

BEST NIGHT EVER

Tonight was the best night ever because I finally got to see my absolute favorite band in concert. I’ve been obsessed with Third Eye Blind for years and years and finally got to see them live! YAY! No cameras allowed so I don’t have any pictures unfortunately. The only semi-decent one I got on my phone was of the ticket:

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And I owe it all to my good friend and fellow blogger, the smart, beautiful, amazing Katie. Her boyfriend plays in the awesome band The Upwelling who opened for Third Eye Blind and he hooked me and my friend up with some tickets. I can’t thank them enough! Ari has done some guest posts about his time on tour and he’s such a funny guy! I got to meet him tonight and he was really nice (and cute!). It’s pretty funny because I’ve met Katie’s boyfriend and she’s met my family, so I think it’s about time we get together and meet too!

Thank you, thank you, thank you Katie—I had the best time ever and am so happy right now! And exhausted, it’s tough work rocking out all night, haha! 

See you tomorrow!

Happy Mother’s Day!

This is the first time in my life that I’m not home with my Mom for Mother’s Day, it makes me sad! I bet she’s sad too because I’m sure she knows that if I were home I would be cooking and baking up a storm for her. Don’t worry Mom, I’ll make it up to you!

It’s been so weird being done with classes and not really having anything to do. It’s boring! I’m a very goal-oriented person so just sitting around and wasting time makes me really anxious. 

Breakfast

Overnight Oats. While I was cleaning out my cupboards I found just enough oatmeal left for 1 last bowl, and boy was it a good one. I made it the usual way: 1/2 c oats mixed with 1 T flax and a pinch of salt soaked overnight in 1/2c water. Then this morning I added 1/2 c greek yogurt, 1 banana, and cinnamon! So good.

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Snack

After catching up on some blogs I decided to start packing. I still have a lot of time until I leave (1 week!) but I was bored so I got started on what I could. My room looks so sad and lonely with all the pictures and decorations taken down. Packing really made me hungry though so I had my favorite (and last, boooo) WCMN. I better be able to find these at home!

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Then I hit the gym. Campus is pretty much deserted right now except for the seniors so the gym was gloriously empty. I got in a great workout! I’ve been participating in Gina’s Summer Shape Up Challenge and I LOVE IT!!! My workouts had been getting really repetitive and dull so this challenge was the perfect motivation to shake things up. Gina seriously knows what she’s talking about too! After doing the legs workout I could barely walk down stairs of sit down for days! That sort of soreness that comes after a great strength workout is the best feeling ever! Am I right?

Lunch

I came home and promptly made myself some lunch. Salmon pouch pita, carrots, and cottage cheese. These Rachel’s cottage cheese’s are my new obsession. I love them! So far I’ve only tried the sweet flavors but I bet the savory would be good too. I think they have just the right amount of sweetness to them and I like the consistency a lot. Definitely give them a try!

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Snacks

After lunch I took a nice long walk to enjoy the beautiful sunshine. I love when spring finally comes to Boston because people come out of hibernation and everything is so alive and exciting. It’s great! I got home and was hungry again so I munched on an apple, carrots, and a yogurt. I couldn’t seem to get full!

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Dinner

For dinner my friends were going to Panera so I obviously jumped onboard. I love it there but there isn’t one that is convenient to get to without a car here so I can’t go very often unless someone is willing to drive me. I got the Asian sesame chicken salad, wheat baguette, and a fruit cup and it was just as good as I remembered. I was a little disappointed that the Strawberry Poppyseed Salad wasn’t back yet though because that’s my favorite!

I don’t really have anything else on the agenda tonight (I’m so bored!) so I think I’ll just catch up on some of the tv that I missed due to crazy work at the end of the semester. I’m like a month behind on 30 Rock! 

See you later!

4 Years

Since I have plenty of time this week and nothing to do, I thought I would take a little trip down memory lane and reflect on the past 4 years. There have definitely been some bumps in the road and there were many times when I just had to take it day by day and even hour by hour because looking at the big picture was just too overwhelming. There were so many times when I was counting down anxiously for graduation and now it’s basically here. 1 week from today and my undergraduate years will be officially behind me. It’s hard to believe.

If I could go back in time would I do things differently? If you asked me that last year, or even last semester I wouldn’t have even needed time to think about it-my answer would be a positive YES. But now, I’m not so sure. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and soul-searching recently and while it took me a long time and lots of frustration and tears to get to the place I am now, maybe it was worth it. I’m not going to try to pretend that I love it here now, because that is not true. However, through my trials and tribulations I feel like I have finally started to make progress in discovering who I really am. For so long I tried to be what I thought was expected of me, I tried to please everyone else, and I never really thought about who I am or what I wanted. I’m still not there yet, but I’ve come such a long way. I definitely didn’t get there on my own though, I could never have made it through the past 4 years without the constant love and support of my family and closest friends. I’ve learned that, especially for me, it’s not the number of friends I have, but the quality. I feel great about the friendships that I have developed and I know that they wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t for everything I went through in the process.

4 years ago I graduated High School as Valedictorian of my class:

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I then went on to have what I thought was the summer of my life before beginning college.

Freshman Year

I explored Boston

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Rang in the New Year at home with my high school friends

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Watched the Steelers win their 5th Superbowl

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I also had a hard time finding the right group of friends, struggled with maintaining a long distance relationship with my high school boyfriend, and made 2 of my best friends in college, Aliza, and my freshman year roommate Lisa.

Sophomore Year

I went to Steelers games

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Went to Israel on Birthright

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Joined AOII

But I also had my hardest semester where my best friend Aliza transferred and I had my heart broken, all in a matter of weeks. I was miserable but made it through with the help of my family, Lisa, and my new sorority sisters.

That summer I went to Israel and actually had the best summer of my life.

Junior Year

I spent a semester studying abroad in Spain and traveling throughout Europe 

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I came back to campus in the spring and really focused on getting my life back on track with healthy eating and exercise. I lived with horrible roommates but became a lot closer with the girls in my sorority.

I came home for the summer and celebrated my 21st birthday

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Developed my cooking skills (and my 6-pack)

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Deepened my yoga practice and became a runner

And began blogging!

Senior Year

This year has been full of ups and downs and you’ve followed me through it all and been so supportive and encouraging. I don’t know if I could have made it without you all.

I was a Flapper for Halloween

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Voted in my first presidential election for the nation’s first African American president!

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Had fun on visits with my mom and dad

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Watched the Steelers win their 6th Superbowl

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Made amazing friends

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I’ve definitely changed a lot since Freshman year but I’m pretty happy with the person that I’ve become. I’m ready for graduation and I’m excited to start the next chapter of my life.

Real Smiles

I’m still here! I know I’ve been really MIA lately but that’s because I’ve been really busy spending time with my friends! A lot of my really good friends aren’t seniors and it’s been so hard saying goodbye to them as they leave for the summer. I’ve made a few really close friendships this year that I couldn’t be happier about. I’m really starting to believe in the whole “everything happens for a reason” concept—and while I definitely had my fair share of frustration, anger, and unhappiness here I am in such a good place right now and I am pleased to say that I am actually leaving college on a very good note. I am so grateful for the friends that I’ve made this year and especially how close I’ve gotten to some of them the past few months. I am really able to graduate feeling content and not like the past 4 years were a complete waste of time, something I was really concerned I would feel. 

While college itself has not been the best, the education, opportunities, and lifelong friendships that I am taking from it makes it all worth it. I didn’t party all the time, I stressed out like it was my job, I cried, I screamed, I complained, but I also worked hard, accomplished a lot, learned about myself, laughed, sang (badly), and had some really great conversations. I made genuine friendships that I know will continue. I really cannot express how thankful I am for the past few months and the fact that I was finally able to enjoy my college experience. 

Last night I went out for drinks with my 2 closet friends here. I love this picture because I have a real smile on my face.  For so long I forced a smile on my face and you can definitely tell the difference.

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Now I have to go say goodbye to my best friend and I know I’m going to bawl my eyes out. I’m going to miss her so much!

See you later!

D.O.N.E.

I just took my LAST final of my undergraduate college career. Hard to believe it’s all over! Graduation is on May 17 and then I have to be an adult—I don’t know if I’m ready! Is it just me or did the past few months just fly by. It figures that when I’m finally happy here the time just whizzes by and when I was miserable it just dragged on. I guess that’s just how it goes. I’m really going to miss my friends next year and it’s just now setting in that I’m not going to be able to see them on a daily basis. I really wish that I could just turn back the clock and relive the past few months again, savoring every single moment. 

I haven’t been taking pictures of all my food and to be honest, it’s been sort of liberating. I love blogging and I love writing about what I eat but sometimes it does become a little obsessive. Also, when I’m eating the same things over and over, and making random combinations of whatever food I have left, it’ sort of pathetic to say: and then I had a sandwich, and then yogurt, oh and then another sandwich. So until I get home and back in my kitchen (Yayyyy!!) I think I’ll be just posting random things instead of a full day of food.

SO here’s what I do have from today:

Cereal, yogurt, cameo apple (my new favorite!)

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Tuna sandwich, cottage cheese, carrots

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WCMN

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Lindt Truffle Chocolate

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It’s so weird to not have any obligations for the next few months. My job starts on July 27 but until then I don’t have much going on. I can’t wait to focus on myself and my health and sanity which has definitely gone missing with all the stress of finals. I’m sort of in a tricky situation right now where my weight has gone up a little bit above my range and I’m freaking out about it. I want to get back into the range but I’m really nervous that either I’ll just keep gaining, or that I’ll go back to restricting since that’s the only way I know how to lose weight. Mehh. I’m seeing my nutritionist tomorrow so hopefully we’ll figure something out, but it’s my last appointment with her before I leave and I’m anxious to be on my own. I’ll definitely need all of your support!

Well, it’s off to read for fun (!!!!) my absolute favorite part of summer. Speaking of which, I just realized that this is the last summer vacation I’ll ever have. Noooooooo! I don’t want to grow up!

See you tomorrow!

Pink

Hey guys! I’m SO CLOSE to finishing up the semester. I turned in a 15 pager yesterday, and now all I have left to do is study for my Accounting final which is tomorrow night. Then end is in sight! The dreary, rainy weather has actually been pretty nice recently because it forces me to stay inside and get my work done instead of wanting to play in the sun!

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but I LOVE the color pink! I don’t wear that much of it, but basically everything else I buy is pink. It’s just so pretty! Here’s a little look at just some of the many things I’ve been snacking on, accompanied by just some of the many pink things I own:

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Back to the libs–see you later!


Email Me

Email me any questions, comments, concerns, or if you just want to chat! ourkitchenadventures@gmail.com
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