Thursday!?

How is it already Thursday!? Time is flying by and I’m freaking out. I have to go back to school on Sunday and I am seriously not looking forward to it. Not only am I upset because I hate it there, but now I’m going to constantly be anxious about my Grandpa and how things are going here. 

Breakfast

I was up really early this morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep. Eventually I just gave up and had breakfast. I had some yogurt, pumpkin, apple, with maple syrup drizzled in. It was so good!

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I was feeling so tight today for some reason so I knew yoga was on the agenda. I had a decent practice, but I always push myself harder when I’m in a class than I do at home. It still felt good to stretch though.

Snack

After yoga I headed out to pick up my Grandma and head to the rehabilitation center to visit my Grandpa. I was pretty hungry so I had a snack on the way. After Veggie Girl’s amazing review of the Pure Bars, I had to give one a try. I had the Cherry Cashew and it was pretty good! I was immediately struck by the tart cherry flavor, but couldn’t really taste cashews. It was good though, very similar to Larabars but I thought it was a little less oily, which was good. I just wish these weren’t so expensive! 

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Today’s visit was really rough. I have a very severe phobia of vomit–like it’s actually a little ridiculous, but as far back as I can remember I’ve been terrified of throwing up and being around someone who is sick is like my worst nightmare–literally, sometimes I have nightmares about it. I really need to get over this fear if I ever want to have kids! 

Anyway, my Grandpa’s medication makes him very nauseous and he was sick this morning. He’s bed/wheelchair bound which means no rushing to the toilet, but rather using a bucket. Ugh. I was so unbelievable anxious and uncomfortable the whole time and I feel like an absolutely horrible person for it. Rather than helping and comforting him I totally closed off and tried to calm myself down so I didn’t have a panic attack! I even had to leave the room and take a walk at one point while he was getting sick and it made me cry that I couldn’t even get over my anxiety to be there and help him feel better. I’m so angry at myself for this and I feel horrible for getting so upset and worrying about myself and how I felt rather than my poor Grandpa. Please tell me I’m not a terrible person because I’m really beating myself up about it!

Lunch

Anyway, when we left my Grandma was hungry and wanted to stop for a late lunch around 2. I had zero appetite but thought that I should probably eat something. I ordered some wheat toast and fruit and nibbled on a few bites of my grandma’s omelette. 

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Mehh. I’m stressed. I have schoolwork I should probably get started on and then I think we’re going out to dinner later. I’ll see you guys tonight!

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10 Responses to “Thursday!?”


  1. 1 VeggieGirl Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Girl, please try to ease the stress – I want you to enjoy the time you have left before school starts back!! You know I’m here for you!!

  2. 2 Bec Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Aw, I’m sorry you had such a hard time with your visit with your grandfather. I definitely feel uncomfortable in hospitals so I totally understand where you are coming from…

  3. 3 Erin Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    DON’T FEEL BAD. I have a client with that very same fear and it can be EXTREMELY distressing. We are doing some interesting work – if you want to hear more I’ll tell you about it. In any case, please don’t beat yourself up over it! That is a legit phobia that is diagnosible in the psychology/psychiatry world.
    I’m sorry it Thursday already 😦 I feel the same way!

  4. 4 Sarah Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    You really shouldn’t feel bad, I don’t thing anyone is overjoyed by vomit. And if they are, something is very very wrong.
    Hope you are able to savor these last few days of break!

  5. 5 Haleigh Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    That is an interesting breakfast combination! I will have to give that I try.

    And do not feel bad at all.. I have the exact same phobia. Ever since I was very young and my little brother got sick, I have been terribly afraid of people vomiting around me. I just recently stopped getting anxious when people coughed around me as well. My step-brother, who is 5 years old, was sick a few weeks ago and I couldn’t even babysit him for my step-mom because I was afraid of him getting sick. So, there are other people out there who has the same fear as you do. I hope that things go better for you and your grandpa tomorrow! Hang in there.

  6. 6 ksgoodeats Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Sarah, I am so so so so so incredibly sorry that you have to go through all of this. I am really hoping that you Grandpa gets better very, very soon!

  7. 7 Andrea Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Oh Sarah, I feel for you – I really do. I would have the same reaction if I were in your shoes, but it is NOT your fault that your aversion is so strong.

  8. 8 verbalriot Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 9:19 pm

    sorry about your grandfather! I know what you mean about school stress…I go back on monday and I’m so not ready!

  9. 9 lilveggiepatch Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    I’m so jealous of your PURE bar! To be honest I haven’t actually LOOKED for them, but I’m still a-hankering. Boo to schoolwork!

  10. 10 Caroline Friday, March 20, 2009 at 12:19 am

    Ooh! I have been dying to try that flavor of PURE bar. I love me some cherries.

    Try not to stress–enjoy the rest of your break!


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