Rough Day

Hey guys—I had a really rough day today and it turns out this break isn’t going to be as cheery as I had hoped. I mentioned a while back that my grandpa was in the hospital and it turns out that he really isn’t doing too well. This is so hard for me because I am extremely close to my grandparents and seeing my grandpa so sick just breaks my heart.

Breakfast

This morning started out great as I had another waffle tower for breakfast. I adore these! Mmmm.

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After breakfast I did a quick sweaty 30 minutes on the stationary bike and got ready for what was supposed to be a fun day.

I was planning on meeting my grandma, uncle, and cousins for lunch to celebrate my grandma’s 86th birthday! On the way to the restaurant though, my dad called and told me that things were looking worse for my grandpa and he was going to have to be moved from his rehabilitation center back to the hospital. Obviously I turned around and headed over to see my grandparents.

I really do not like hospitals. I get so uncomfortable and anxious being there in general, but seeing my grandpa so sick and look so helpless and weak just really broke my heart. He can’t really talk and could barely even recognize me. I seriously could feel my heart breaking. And it hurts me so much to see how hard this is for my dad. He is so unbelievable with his parents, he has been going to visit my grandpa every day for the past 6 weeks and helps him so much. He’s also been so supportive with my grandma, sometimes staying at her house with her at night when she is too upset to stay alone. My dad has always been my best friend, but seeing him handle this situation so strongly and the amount of love and generosity he has for his parents just reinforces why he is my role model. I just wish that I could do something to help him and make things easier.

Anyway, I was so upset all day that I totally lost my appetite. I tried to hold my emotions together while I was with my grandparents, but as soon as I got in the car to drive home I totally lost it. I was sobbing and gasping for air to the point that I had to pull over to compose myself because I was not in the state to drive.

I couldn’t stomach anything for lunch but I did grab a double tall soy latte and had a few bites of a luna cookie but couldn’t finish it.

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When I got home I just really needed to get out of my head and needed an escape so I went out for the most ridiculous run. I just wanted to have my mind focus on my physical pain to stop thinking about everything else. I ran for about 30 minutes and my average heart rate was 171 with a max of 187, which is super high for me.

I got home and still didn’t have an appetite but I felt dizzy and weak so I knew I needed to eat something so I had some kashi crackers, veggie chips, and hummus and felt a little better.

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Dinner

I turned to Katie for some tofu advice and made curried tofu with sweet potato fries and roasted brussels sprouts for dinner. Being in the kitchen helped relax me and the meal was really good and comforting.

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I’m not sure what the rest of the night will hold but I’m thinking some tv zoning out is in order. Please keep my grandpa in your thoughts!

ETA:

A black russian was absolutely necessary tonight, which led to a crazy pudding, whipped cream, cookie sundae. Now it’s bedtime!

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17 Responses to “Rough Day”


  1. 1 katie Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Oh Sarah that is so scary I’m so sorry! It’s nice you and your dad can be together during this but ugh. As always if you need to vent or just unload on, I’m here.

  2. 2 FoodsThatFit Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    Hey Lady!

    So sorry to hear about your Grandpa! I hope he gets better soon!

  3. 3 Sharon Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Hang in there, I know what you are going through. But keep your chin up and be optimistic and positive. 🙂

  4. 4 Erin Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    OH HONEY. I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. It sounds so hard for you. I have seen my grandpa like that too and it’s frightening. I love you. Take care of yourself and try to eat everything you can so you don’t start to feel yucky physically as well as emotionally.

  5. 5 VeggieGirl Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Please contact me ANY time for support, Sarah – you know I’m here for you.

  6. 6 Sarah Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. 7 Sarah Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    What a rough day! I’m thinking of your grandpa today and sending strong thoughts to him. How lucky for you and your family that you were home already — take advantage of your family’s support, and make time to take care of yourself, too!

  8. 8 Nicole Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    I’m sorry about your grandfather 😦

  9. 9 Bec Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Sorry about your grandfather, love the SP fries though!

  10. 10 Yasmin Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I recently went throught that with my grandmother and now my uncle. I am actually driving to San Antonio tomorrow to visit him in the hospital. I know how you feel because I feel so uncomfortable and helpless. Much love!

  11. 11 ksgoodeats Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    Aw love bug I’m sorry to hear about your Grandpa 😦 Just being there for your dad is enough – it may not seem like it but the fact that you’re there for him, to give him support, will help him get through this as well as you. My thoughts are with you and your family!!

  12. 12 Jenn (eating bender) Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Sarah, I am so sorry to hear about your grandpa. I am sending you hugs and please don’t hesitate to call or email me if you want to talk or need anything at all. I am thinking of you and wishing you and your family nothing but the best.

  13. 13 jesslikesithot Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 2:02 am

    I’m sorry sarah! 😦

    Stay positive and hopefully your grandpa will keep fighting!

  14. 14 carolinebee Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    aw bear i’m so sorry about gramps. I feel you 110% on that, i absolutely hate being in hospitals, and I hate seeing anyone you love so much in that state of pain. I’m totally here for ya girlie hang in there 🙂

  15. 15 Haleigh Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    My thoughts are with you and your grandpa! I am so sorry to hear about it, sick grandparents are the absolute worst. Hang in there and stay positive!

  16. 16 landoffruitsandnuts Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Aw Sarah, you and your family will definitely be in my thoughts. I’m glad you are able to be there with your family though & hang in there!

  17. 17 Anna Monday, March 16, 2009 at 8:58 am

    I’m so sorry to hear about this! You sound like you’re handling it well, but be careful that you take care of yourself and don’t go too crazy with the exercise and make sure you’re eating enough. Running helps to clear my head too, but it’s important to balance it out with a delicious bowl of ice cream! Your eats look amazing today, by the way.

    Hang in there!


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